Keep Going, Keep Growing

First, let’s get the “life-changing” car accident part out of the way.

Yes, I was in a car accident.

No, nobody died.

Yes, I was injured.

No, you couldn’t see the injuries.

There was no doctor.

There was no hospital.

There were no scans or assessments.

The only proof that anything had happened was the wrecked car and the pain I was in.

We hired lawyers. But this had never happened before, what were the right steps to take?

I was seventeen years old, dealing with chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder, and suddenly could no longer use the one healthy outlet that was always there for me: sports.

I thought University and the change of scenery would make it better, but unfortunately, there was much more trauma in store for me there. Plus, I hadn’t healed a thing.

Fast forward a couple of years later, and thanks to a coworker of mine, I started going to the gym. My pain lessened little by little, but I wasn’t making much progress. I wanted to be stronger. I wanted to be smaller. I wanted to lift the heaviest of weights, or at least what my friend could lift.

We ended up at different gyms and again, I was on my own in figuring everything out.

Determined not to let my small bit of progress go, I signed up for the most expensive yearly membership at 12-something in the morning and promised that I’d show up the next day.

But not long after, waiting in my inbox was an automated email from the Fitness Manager of the gym, and I felt like it was exactly what I needed.

I replied and got myself a free consultation with a personal trainer.

I had never considered working with a personal trainer before, but I liked the gym and wanted to keep going, but I needed help. I needed someone who knew what they were doing and could help me.

They asked if I had any preference and I told them the only name I knew: The Fitness Manager’s.

We met for what Fitness World calls a “Goal Session”, an hour where you sit to talk about your goals, share your life story, and they try to help.

I remember my mobility being very poor, but the overall tone of the session was very hopeful. I needed someone to talk to and it was his job to listen.

He presented prices for training and I wasn’t making very much, so I told him I would think about it.

It didn’t take long for me to commit to five sessions, but those sessions together made me realize how much help I really needed, and how I should have been looking to save money elsewhere.

It was time for me to invest in myself because nobody was going to help me if I didn’t ask for it.

Moral of the story: ask for help sooner rather than later

Now, how did I build the strength to get back up?

I put in the work.

With the help of my trainer, I had a strength program made to build muscle with the hope of reducing my chronic pain (the real goal was to be smaller and these were more like side quests). I had a general meal plan and an increased caloric allowance to allow for muscle gain (I didn’t follow this at all so it was slow going at first). And most importantly, I had someone to cheer me on.

I showed up to my sessions.

I showed up on my own.

I followed the plan and day by day, I got stronger.

I now had someone in my life who encouraged me to keep going in a way that nobody else had so far, all I had to do was pay for it.

Best money that I ever spent.

So I had tackled the gym aspect of it, but what about nutrition?

What about the kitchen? The place where the gains either go to eat or to die.

I wasn’t spending any time there.

I was given a number, daily caloric intake and new protein goals to keep it simple, but I wasn’t following through.

I didn’t really know why I had to.

Everybody knows that you have to eat less to lose weight…right?

Apparently wrong.

True: Eating fewer calories than you expend will lead to weight loss.

False: Weight loss is the same as fat loss.

True: The more muscle you have in your body, the higher your metabolism of fats will be.

False: Spending an hour every day on the treadmill will make you lose weight. (at least not alone!)

True: Eating more protein will help you gain muscle.

False: Lifting weights will make you bigger

True: Eating in a caloric surplus will help you put on weight.

None of those have a whole lot of meaning, but there are a lot of myths that need to be busted in order for people, especially women, to save a whole lot of time and money in the gym.

It took me an entire YEAR to realize that eating more (especially more protein) was the key to my body finally losing those tricky fat stores I’d put on since becoming more sedentary.

Going to the gym helped me to:

• create better habits
• build muscle
• move more and improve my mental health
• feel more like myself
• increase my confidence
• control my chronic pain

But I still wasn’t fuelling myself properly.

After so long of everything in my life getting better except for my image of myself, I decided that it was time to drop what I thought I knew (because it was very apparent that I didn’t know a thing) and listen to the fitness professional when he told me I needed to eat more.

I decided to be honest so that he was better able to help me.

“The calorie number you gave me was scary.”

“I’ve never eaten that much on purpose.”

“I’m still not happy with my body.”

So I started small. Tracking calories doesn’t work for me, so I tracked only protein.

I had a high goal of 100+ grams of protein per day, but the difference was that I was trying to get to it.

My trainer told me that what I was eating was less important in my case, and that I just simply needed to be eating more.

So the bulk started. I chose to trust the process.

I ate instant ramen.

I ate McDonald’s.

I drank smoothies.

I ordered takeout.

I gave myself full food freedom in order to meet my goals and you’ll never guess what happened.

I started to lose fat.

I was eating like shit and I started to lose fat.

I gained weight, which used to feel like the end of the world, but I lost fat.

I started to see muscle definition.

I never knew how cool that could be.

I never wanted to be muscular but I realized that the look most of us go for is actually seeing some muscle definition.

For me, food freedom allowed me to change my body composition. Finally.

Now, I’m not saying that you can eat whatever you want and lose fat. Don’t get me wrong.

But you can eat more to increase your metabolism.

You can gain weight and lose fat.

You can still achieve the body that you want without having a strict diet. It just has to work for you.

Are there things that I would have done differently? Of course.

But now I work to explain these concepts to people like me who think they know themselves but aren’t willing to try anything new.

How can you expect to see results doing the same things you’ve always done? If you haven’t seen results after a year of consistency, you’re not on the right track.

What would I have done differently?

1. Listen to my trainer earlier
2. Find what makes me feel good and keep eating that
3. Find high-protein foods that I like and stock up (my go-to is Siggi’s Greek yogurt)
4. Put half of the effort that I put into training, into meal prepping
5. Less cardio (good for your heart, not for fat loss)
6. Asked for help sooner

Keep in mind that this is my story. These are things that worked for me. They may not work for you, but I wasted a year doing what I thought was best for my goals, so why not spend a year trying new things with help?

You are not alone.

There are so many ways to find help and advice.

Everybody is different, so if it’s generic or one-size-fits-all, it’s probably not for you.

There is no best program.

There is no miracle diet.

The only approach that works for you is the one that you can do happily, healthily, and consistently.

If you can’t stick to it, it’s not for you. Look elsewhere.